Exhausted in my bed after an extremely long day, I just couldn't sleep. I don't know if it's a sense of joy, guilt or just a not so decaffeinated cup of cappuccino that kept me awake; but I wasn't the biggest fan of an open pair of eyes and a clouded mind. Lonely with no one to turn to; after all any sane person has gone to bed or would have advised me to do the same. Maybe I was looking for a crazy kid, but where would I have found one at that hour.
It's a pity no one is ever there to witness a defining transfiguration, no one is ever there to marvel in the beauty of a revelation and no one is ever there to navigate the inner alleys of Amsterdam. Maybe it was for the best, as no one would have survived the waves of euphoric epiphanies that took me by surprise.
I stood at every success I achieved (the list isn't that big) every bad meal I had, every last bite I stole, every good book and every cheap comic, every John and every Judas, every threshold I failed to cross, and every leap of faith I took.
"Sometimes your only way of transportation is a leap of faith", a statement that might sound simple and somehow motivating yet people never really comprehend how it works. People have no clue how many thresholds they cross everyday and how many leaps they take whether it's a two hours movie, a book, stepping aboard a microbus with a lunatic driver or a lifetime commitment; yet they still stand paralyzed with fear, cater to a mediocre mind or settle for half a lover. After all a life self pity and fear is far more bearable compared to one of self flagellation and remorse.
At the end of a long day; only one question matters "Are you willing to risk it?"
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